Love is a complex emotion that has a strong control over the human mind. There is so one definition for love. There are many types of love as well. Around Valentine's Day, the topic of romantic love is brought up more and more as the holiday gets closer. It is the one day of the year where couples are expected to go all out for their partners and show off their relationship. Both men and women have certain expectations that society believes they must meet for Valentine's Day. Men are expected to give their significant other gifts or take them to dinner, while women are expected to give their bodies in return at the end of the night.
These expectations that both genders are expected to fulfill are a result of living in a society run by patriarchy. According to Bell Hooks, patriarchy is "a political-social system that insists that males are inherently dominating, superior to everything and everyone deemed weak, especially females and endowed with the right to dominate and rule over the weak and to maintain that dominance through various forms of psychological terrorism and violence." Its is so deeply ingrained in our society, and most people don't even realize how it affects them. Women are taught that they are weaker than men and they must serve them. They are also seen as objects for a man's pleasure, rather than as their own person. Men are able to take advantage of women and then put all the blame onto the woman. They must be strong and not show any weakness. Men are powerful, and everyone else must serve them.
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| Patriarchy: A male dominated society |
How does the system of patriarchy affect love and romantic relationships? Since the patriarchy is based on male dominance, in a relationship between a man and a woman the man will most likely want control over the woman. The man might feel entitled to sex every night or feel the need to know what his significant other is doing at all times. The woman, with the effects of patriarchy so deeply ingrained in her way of life, might easily submit to the man's rules of the relationship. This, however, does not make for a healthy relationship. A healthy relationship is built on mutual love, trust, and respect. This is how love can affect the system of patriarchy. If they truly love each other, the man would trust the woman when she is out with her own friends. He would respect her body and not feel entitled to fulfill his needs when it is not mutual. Both the man and the woman would be able to confide in each other and share their feelings without feeling invalid. They would be able to love each other without worrying about what society thinks of their relationship.
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| Marc Chagall, Birthday (1915) |
The painting "Birthday" by Marc Chagall is a good example of how love affects patriarchy. In the painting, Bella, Chagall's wife, is seen preparing flowers and a cake for his birthday. Chagall, so overwhelmed with love for his wife, steals a kiss. Bella is painted in a very light and floaty manner, showing that Chagall thought of her as a magical being. Chagall is also painted floated and in a very unnatural position, showing that his love for her is unburdened by gravity. The subject of the painting makes it feel like we are intruding on an almost intimate moment between two people who are filled with only love and affection for each other. This painting could also be interpreted as a man taking control and doing anything he can to get a kiss from his wife. The wife appears busy, but that does not stop the man from stealing a kiss without consent.
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